"I get it, I get it !!!!! Last night my world shifted - it was a bingo moment :) Probably a small bingo moment to you - but a huge bingo moment for me! I see it! Instead of embracing the basics I was getting lost in the details! All those peripheral issues were distracting me - I need to realize they will follow in their time, when I am ready.
I found the connection I was looking for, the thing that makes this all work, and it is so simple - you have to lose your faith to find it! Lose your growing up faith, the faith (what) you were taught; your parents', and pastor's and college's set of faith principles so you can find your own personal faith. You don't lose your faith in God, you lose your faith in your faith. This is the connection I was searching for, and I get it :) It is so liberating to realize I am free to question and accept or reject things and work out my own faith. Awesome! I am free to confidently pursue the details without fear, and take all the time I need, not worrying that I am doubting GOD and whether I am truly His child, because I have all these doubts. I don't doubt God, He's still hanging on to me, rather I doubt my faith construct.
This makes me want to dance around the room, to cry with joy, to sing, to worship, to live!!! This whole pomo concept is not what I think, it's a way of thinking.
I don't have to be or not be a creationist/ dispensationalist/ whatever. I have to be open to the process. It's MY faith, where I am TODAY, yet not static, always questioning, growing, changing, trusting, accepting, rejecting, reconstructing. For me, faith is not a leap, it's a slow walk on a winding road. It's a path to explore, and I'm looking forward to where it will take me :) The point is - I have permission to walk in this unknown and explore the mystery of what's next. I don't have to think like you or McLaren, or even agree, - I may or I may not, but I have to keep walking. I have to find whatever's out there for me to find. I just need to go where it can find me. BINGO!
Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul
And make it sing!"
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